Yugi Moto and the Power of Insanity
by Rudy1
Summary: Insanity! Lossa it! Yugi disowns Yami and gets a new yami!'N LOOK, here comes Joey with the Invisible Key! He shall save us! Peggy's bi! (but that's not new) and he likes Trista! AND HE GOT HIMSELF A SHOW?! And Mokubas secret... TIS NOT HIS REAL NAME! R
1. The New Yami

__

A/n: This fic is dedicated to Zoe, who loves Yu-Gi-Oh so much she own anything to do with it! 

Chapter One: The New Yami

"HIHI!" Yugi Moto yelled at the top of his lungs. "I'M THE YUGI AND I'M THE STAR OF THIS SHOW!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" protested Yugi's Yami. "MY NAME IS IN THE TITLE! NOT YOURS!"

"That don' change a thing. Besides, they love _me_ more."

"LIAR!" Yami shouted at he and Yugi began to slap each other like girls.

"Stop that!" shouted Tea, as she got in between the two of them.

"Why?"

"Because you're not setting a good example for the younger audience!" Tea explained, as she covered the ears of a little boy. "I'm not letting you turn any of the lil' boys g-a-y.!"

"G-A-Y?" Yugi and Yami asked in chorus.

"Yes, g-a-y."

"What's that spell?!" Yugi asked, as Pegasus (Peggy), Tristen, and Yugi's grandpa lined up behind him in cheerleaders uniforms with pictures of Yugi's hair on their shirts.

"G-A-Y!" they yelled together.

"What's that spell?!" Yugi yelled back.

"GAYYYYYY!" they said, before turning and leaving.

"Stop that!" Tea argued again.

"But we're not gay! And besides, WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU?! You're named after a drink!" Yugi said.

"You're so mean!" Tea shouted back as she began to cry and ran into a closet. The audience began to clap and then stopped.

"WOOT! Let's hear it for the closet!" shouted Phoinex, a tall boy with jet-black hair. The audience obeyed him and began to clap.

"M'hm…" muttered Mai, who was sitting at a table with a cigar in her hand and bottles of beer scattered all around her.

"The closet?!" Yugi asked, "But I'm the star!"

"I told you you're not, little… PERSON!" Yami answered angrily.

"PERSON?! I'm you're partner! How could you?! That's it!" Yugi said, as he took a ring off his finer that looked suspiciously like an engagement ring. "We're through!" Yugi snapped his fingers, and then two people dragged in a table. Then an oddly short one came in carrying a chair and set it behind the table. The short one then put a sign that said "Yami Auditions" neatly on the front of the table. Yugi sat in the chair with his face turned away from his former Yami.

Zoe was the first to line up in front of the table. Then a stranger came up and lined up behind her. Zoe raared and then her mouth somehow grew gigantic and she bit the persons head off. The stranger was never heard from again.

"WOOT! Let's here it for the table!" Phoinex shouted again, and once again the audience obeyed and clapped for the table.

"Mama, Sumo?" Yugi asked as he looked around for Zoe. Zoe ran up to the table. "Do you love me?" Yugi asked again.

"HELL YA!" Zoe replied instantly.

"YOU'RE HIRED!"

"WOOO! GO ME!" Just then, Joey walked on stage wearing large green bow in his head that practically served as an umbrella. The rest of his close were the same.

"YAH! GO JOEY! LET'S HERE IT FOR HIM!" yelled an audience member as he stood up and began to clap. Everyone in the audience just stared at him. Selena, a girl with braided brown hair an green eyes, stood with steam coming out of her nose.

"Joey is mine!" she declared, before ramming herself right into the persons stomach and shooting them through the roof to Pluto.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk…." Phoinex muttered with his arms crossed. "Silly person, only _I_ control the audience…"

Meanwhile, backstage Bakura was planning evil crimes of low power that would not be affective whatsoever in helping him take over the show because he's stupid and not smart because he just is.

"Bwahaha… Now I'll show them… all their taunting… JUST BECAUSE MY HAIR DOESN'T GO UP DOES NOT MEAN I'M A LOSER!"

"Did you hear something, Yami?" Yugi asked his *new* Yami.

"Nope." Zoe replied, as she walked in wearing clothes that matched Yugi's. "Oooo… prettyful." she said as she poked the back part of her jacket which somehow stood up. Suddenly, the wall behind them blew up as a motorcycle came flying in. On it was Yami Yugi, wearing biker clothes. Behind him was Tea, with her own biker clothes.

"YAMI! You look…. COOL!" Yugi said, as he began to drool.

"Hey! What about-" Zoe suddenly stopped as she saw Yami Yugi and began to drool herself.

"WOOT! Let's hear it for the bike!" Phoinex shouted. Yet again, the audience obeyed and applauded.

"LITTLE PERSON! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" Yami Yugi shouted at Yugi.

"Uhhh…. Hold on." Yugi replied, as he sucked Zoe into his Millennium Puzzle kicking and screaming, but making her his official Yami. "_Pst, Yami, what do I do_?" Yugi asked in his mind.

"_Hmm… say yes_." Zoe said randomly as she walked around Yami Yugi's former chambers.

"Yes." Yugi obediently said. Tea then walked to the wall with an evil grin and pushed a button which made a dueling stadium appear. Yugi and Yami Yugi stepped onto their dueling thingies and they raised up high in the air. Then they drew their cards.

"I'll go first…" Yami began. "I release, Dragon Zombie!" Yami Yugi said as he put down his card and the monster appeared on the arena.

"_Yami , which card should I release?_" Yugi asked in his mind. (Italics mean in his mind, k peeps?)

"_Umm… Release… uhh… YOU FIRGUE IT OUT, BOY! I'M TRYING TO REDECORATE HERE!_" Zoe yelled, as she went back to painting the walls of Yami Yugi's former chambers pink.

"I release… CURSE OF SELENA!" Yugi shouted as he put his card down. Selena suddenly disappeared from the audience and reappeared in the arena with skeleton wings.

"Dragon Zombie! Dragons Breath!" Yami Yugi shouted. The monster obeyed and shot the attack at Curse of Selena, who blocked it with her wings.

"PUT ME IN DEFENSE MODE!" Curse of Selena demanded at Yugi.

"_Yami! What do I do?!_" Yugi asked Zoe.

"_Uhhh… put her in defense mode._" Zoe replied, as she stopped painting.

"_How do I do that? YOU DO IT!_" Yugi said as he touched the Millennium Puzzle and turned into Zoe. Or so it seemed. They had only switched places, so Zoe had appeared wearing paint stained white over alls and a side ways white hat on her head.

"STUPID YUGI!" she complained, as she turned the Curse of Selena card to the side, which put the Curse of Selena into defense mode. "_Is that all, Yugi?"_

"_Umm… could you finish the duel pwease?_" Yugi asked.

"_Raar… fine, but you'd better start painting!_"

"_Yes, ma'am!"_ Yugi said, as he picked up Zoe's paint brush and started painting.

"I release the Celtic Guardian, in attack mode!" Yugi said as he put the card down and release the monster.

"I release… The Woot Card!" Zoe shouted as she put down the card. This time, Phoinex disappeared from the audience and reappeared on the arena with a large scepter. "Woot Card! Special Ham Whap!" Zoe ordered.

"Specciiallll…." Phoinex began as he gathered energy. "Hammm…. WHAP!" he yelled, as he hit the Dragon Zombie with his scepter and defeated it.

"Grrr…" Yugi muttered. "I play the Feral Imp!" Yami Yugi said, as he put down another card.

"Fine. I switch Curse of Selena into attack mode," Zoe said as she flipped the Curse of Selena card, "and add The Mystical Brownie to The Woot Card." A large brownie then appeared on the arena. Joey sniffed it somehow and instantly began to run toward it.

"NO! MINE!" The Woot shouted at him as he stepped in front of the brownie and ate it quickly, becoming The Mystical Wootie.

"Celtic Guardian! Attack the Joey ma-bob!" Yami Yugi shouted. The monster did as it was told and nearly sliced Joey, had Curse of Selena not gotten in the way and stopped it with her wings.

"Don't you dare hurt my Joey…" Curse of Selena snarled. The Celtic Guardian began to tremble and tried to hide behind Yami Yugi.

"CAN'T HIDE FROM ME, FATTIE!" Zoe shouted, referring to the Celtic Guardians immense size. "Mystical Wootie! FUDGE WOOT CANNON!" Zoe ordered. The Mystical Wootie opened its mouth and began to gather in energy.

"Fudge… Woot… CANNON!" The card shouted, and fired a blast of something at Yami Yugi and the Celtic Guardian. The attack somehow managed to hit Tea as well and began to shoot her, Yami Yugi, and the card up into the sky.

"UH-OH!" Tea and Yami Yugi shouted down, " LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"

"Pikachu?" Zoe reacted. "Woops, sorry, reflex." Zoe then thought hard and saw into her mind. "_YUGI!_" she yelled as she saw what Yugi had done. On the walls were stick figures of pink paint. "_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!_"

"_I PAINTED!"_

"_I LUV IT!"_

"GO ME!" Zoe and Yugi then switched back and Yugi appeared where Zoe was standing. Curse of Selena then began to turn back into regular Selena and The Mystical Wootie turned back into the Woot and then back into Phoinex.

"GO US!" they yelled together. Phoinex was suddenly hit on the head with his scepter by Joey.

"BROWNIE THEIF!"

"I AM NOT! THE MYSTICAL BROWNIE WAS MADE ESPECIFIACLLY FOR THE WOOT CARD! Ain't that right, Peggy?" Phoinex said. Pegasus then came out wearing his normal clothes, only still holding the pom-poms. He spun them around each other and then jumped up and raised them high, shouting, "THAT'S RIGHHHTTT!" with an oddly feminent voice.

"FINE!" Joey shouted, before turning and tripping on the ring Yugi had thrown, somehow causing the stage to fall revealing Bakura.

"NOO! I'VE BEEN REVEALED!" Bakura shouted in agony.

"Shut up, BAKARA!" Yugi yelled.

"You're all so mean…" Bakura yelled before running into a hole and falling deep, deep into somewhere, where he later appears to be in the second chapter for this first has now ended.


	2. Chimpy

Chapter Two: Chimpy

"YU-GI-OH!" shouted the man that always shouts it at the beginning of the show. A scene of Yugi standing with two shadows behind him rolled across the screen. One shadow was Yugi's own, and the other was like Zoe.

"HEY!" Zoe's shadow interrupted, as Zoe walked out. "How come he gets to stand?!"

"Because I'm _Yugi_." Yugi answered. He then put his hands together and started to blink rapidly for a few seconds.

"But I'm more beautifuler!" Zoe protested.

"Well… MY HAIR'S BIGGER!"

"Which I why _I_ should be standing."

"Stop it!" yelled Tea, breaking up the fight. She was wearing a headset that had one of those attachments that also let her talk into it "We wont do the intro today!"

"FINE!" Yugi and Zoe screamed together.

"Welcome to another episode of Yu-Gee-Oh." Mai said, with her breasts pressed up against the camera.

"MAI! STOP THAT! And besides, it's Yu-_Gi-_Oh." Tea barked furiously, while waving her pencil threateningly at Mai.

"Shut up, Ms. Flat. You're just jealous and you know it…" Mai said, before passing out on the camera, causing it to fall and break. A small boy was revealed to be inside it.

"WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE CAMERA!" The boy yelled. The audience stared.

"No, you bad, bad boy…" Phoinex muttered as he walked down the steps toward the stranger. "I control them, not you. They are my applauding slaves of doom. OFF WITH YOU!"

The boy squeaked and ran to hide behind Yugi, who ooed at it. "Who are you?" he asked.

"Chikkiy…."

"What was that?" Yugi asked again. Then the Millennium Puzzle suddenly began to glow and Zoe was released with her matching clothes. She took the puzzle off Yugi's head and hit him hard with it.

"YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! TEA! SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DONE!" Tea walked over and took in a deep breath.

"TELL ME YOUR NAME IN A CLEAR VOICE NOW BEFORE I SICK MY SECRET WEAPON ON YOU!" The boy just starred with wide eyes at her as he sat on the floor, before jumping up slightly and pulling at Tea's hair, ripping out a large chunk with his weight as he fell back down. Tea gasped.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" she scolded. "I'M GONNA…. GRRR!" Tea then took one last look at the laughing audience before running out of the room.

"Ooo…. I like this one." Zoe said, completely approving of the persons actions. "Tell me your name."

"Chimpy." 

"You don't look like a chimp…"

"You'll see." he said mysteriously, before crawling away and falling into a hole that opened seemingly just for him and then closed again.

"Right… Well, LET'S HEAR IT-" Zoe suddenly stopped as she took a glance at Phoinex. He wasn't growling or anything, and it was obvious what Zoe was going to say, so she just coughed and continued. "FOR CHIMPY!" Amazingly, the audience did obey.

Tea suddenly came back wearing a large clowns hat that read "I Have Tissues". She wad pushing in Kaiba with a determined look on her face.

"WHERE'S CAMERA BOY?!"

"In a hole… somewhere…" Yugi replied, while he painted his nails firecracker red.

"YUGI MOOTO?!" Kaiba roared. "So we meet again… I CHALLENGE YOU TO A MOKUBA LICKING CONTEST!" Yugi's hand suddenly jerked aside and caused him to stain hid hand with the nail polish form surprise. He calmly put it away and stood proudly.

"Kaiba. I gladly accept your offer to kiss Mokuba." 

"Kissing? I SAID LICKING!" 

"Oh…Well then, that changes everything. Yami, could you take this one?"

"Nope." Zoe replied dully.

"Argh… fine. I'll do it." Yugi agreed, with a hint that he really did want to do it in the first place in his voice. He then snapped his fingers and said, "Peggy, please bring in Mokubert."

"Who?" Pegasus asked as he crawled out from behind Zoe.

"Hey… I didn't know it was there." Zoe said to herself.

"Mokuba. Mokubert is his real name." Yugi said, ignoring Zoe.

"HEY! I didn't know that!" Kaiba stated.

"Ya, well, me neither. I just do."

"Oh. OK!" Pegasus yelled enthusiastically before running away and coming back with Mokuba in his princess outfit on his back. He put the boy down in between Yugi and Kaiba. "Get set…. GO!"

Kaiba and Yugi began to lick Mokuba quickly. Mokuba had an odd expression as if he were being massaged, and his tongue was sticking out. "Aaaannnddd….. STOP!" Pegasus yelled. "And the winner is… MOKUBA!" In all his open mouthedness, Mokuba had begun to drool over himself.

"Awww…" Yugi muttered. Tea suddenly began to look at Mokuba thoughtfully.

"Hey, Mokuba." she began, as she took out a picture of Britney Spears. "How come you don't look like this?" Mokuba began to cry. He was tired of being compared to damned Britney Spears.

"She's so pretty, that just ain' me…" He muttered before running off stage with his face in his hands.

"MOKUBERT! WAIT!" Pegasus pleaded, before chasing after Mokuba.

"HAHA! MOKUBA'S UGLY!" yelled Chimpy. He had somehow gotten back into the audience.

"YAH! Chimpy's back!" Zoe cheered. She hit Yugi on the back merrily and made him fall over. "Chimpy, why don' you come on down?" Chimpy stood up from his seat and jumped down onto Yugi.

"HI!"

At that moment, Joey walked on stage and up to Zoe and Chimpy.

"Ooo… touch." Chimpy said, before reaching up to touch Joey's hair. 

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!" Selena raared, so loudly that Chimpy literally bounced off the ground. "You… touched… Joey's… hair… you shall feel the wrath of Cheese Monkey!" She took out a slice of cheese and then a glowy transformation began.

"Ooo… glowy…. Must… touch…" Joey said as he walked up to Selena and touched her.

"AHH! NOT THERE!" she screamed, before running out and then coming back as Cheese Monkey.

"Monkey, Cheese?" Zoe asked.

"PRESENT!"

"Good for you Ms. Monkey."

"Yes. Now back to Chimpy…"

"EH! WRONG! IT'S TIME TO DUEL! Now who should we duel today… HEY! YOU! YOU IN THE AUDIENCE! GET DOWN HERE!"

"My ass is cold…" Yugi murmured, not paying attention to what was going on. Zoe pushed a button and a dueling arena appeared. The audience person got onto his dueling thingie and Zoe and Yugi got onto there's.

"Hey… there's a new card in out deck…" Zoe 'observed'.

"TOO BAD!" shouted a voice from behind Yugi. Suddenly, Yugi's underwear was over his head.

"AHH! WEDGIE!"

"YES! A WEDGIE! Which means I now take over the show! BWAHAHA!" Bakura exclaimed. He was the one who had committed the wedgie-doing crime.

"Not so fast, BAKARA!" Zoe yelled. She undid the wedgie and saved the show in less then a second. "And now I play Chimpanzee, along with Mystic Pizza!" Chimpy disappeared from where he as and appeared on the arena with a large number of attack points."CHIMPANZEE! Attack Bakara!"

Chimpy obeyed and began to beat up Bakura. "NOW GIVE IT A WEDGIE!" Chimpanzee turned Bakura around and gave him the wedgie Zoe asked for.

"I see London, I see Mokubert, I see Bakurie's underpants!" Pegasus yelled from above. He was holding Mokuba oddly close to him, and Mokuba was struggling to break free.

"You'll all see… I'LL TAKE OVER IN SOME CHAPTER!" Bakura said, before running off the set and tripping over Mai.

"That was good, Chimpy… very good. I HERBY MAKE YOU A MEMBER OF THE YU-GEE-OH SET!" Zoe said happily, as she gave him a badge.

"It's Yu-_Gi_-Oh." Tea corrected annoyingly.

"SHUT UP, DRINK!" Yugi scolded.

"I am NOT a drink."

"You should be happy. It's better then having a spike for hair." Yugi pointed at Tristen. "So sad…"

"HEY! My hair is not a spike! It's just… it's just… IT'S THE WIND COMING FROM JOEY'S FARTS THAT STICKS IT LIKE THAT!" Tristen explained hurriedly.

"Me?" Joey asked. He was bent down with a look of relief on his face. His but was facing the audience, which had been blown away through the wall.

"Wooo… Le's hear it for… the… wall…" Phoinex said in pain before passing out. Chimpy was soon to follow and passed out.

"Yes, you, Joey." Tristen said before he passed out too.

"Must… end… show…" Zoe encouraged herself. Yugi passed out beside her gently then. "Must… focous… Goodbye…. And thanks for watching…" She suddenly fell on her knees and then onto the floor before muttering her last words before she fully passed out, "Yu…Gee… Oh."

"It's Yu…." Tea started but didn't finish since she suddenly passed out herself. Up in the ceiling Mokuba had passed out and was in Pegasus's arms.

"Why is everyone asleep?" he asked. "I don't know what's the problem… And what's that delightful smell?" He began to sniff around and suddenly the camera itself blew up from the smell. "HEY! Now I'm not on TV…. Oh well." He went on as he began to lock the smell in jars for his own personal uses.

"HEY! If you want that you gotta pay!" Joey demanded.

"Uh-oh… Gotta make a break for it!" Pegasus gathered together the jars he had gotten and began to run with them in Mokuba.


	3. Just Another Eppy

Chapter Three: Just Another Eppy

Pegasus gasped as he walked up to the food table at the studio.

"Where is my hourly wine?" he demanded angrily.

"It go down the hole." Chimpy answered with a grin.

"But I need my wine…"

"For what?" asked Yugi as he began to pick up a donut. Unfortunately, the food was suddenly sucked off the table and flew across the room to Joey's mouth. Including the plates.

"Mmm…. Food." he said to himself merrily.

"NOO! Now what am I to eat?" Yugi asked desperately. "Hmmm… I know." He took out his deck and began eating the cards one by one. Suddenly, his Millennium Puzzle began to glow and Zoe was released.

"WHAT?! What happened?!" she bursted. "I sensed a disturbance…." she gasped suddenly seeing what Yugi was doing. "YUGI!!!"

"PRESENT!" Yugi replied, with a mouth full of cards.

"What is that in your mouth Zoe sees?"

"Food."

"Is it?"

"Uhhh…. Yes."

"Is it?"

"No…"

"Exacterly."

"But it's full of protein!"

"It's full of monsters."

"AHHHHHHH! AM I GONNA TURN INTO A MONSTER NOW?!"

"He already is a monster…" Yami Yugi whispered to Tea. She giggled.

"Not if you spit it out right now!" Zoe yelled.

"Yes, Yami, ma'am…" said Yugi. He walked up to the table and spit up the chewed cards. Joey then walked up and ate it.

"JOEY! BAD!"

"What was that?" Selena asked, as she floated down with an umbrella. Her feet made a soft _tap!_ as she landed.

"Umm… nothing!" Zoe lied.

"I heard something about Joey… my Joey sense told me so."

"I just said that he's… that he's…."

"She said he was ba-" Yugi began, but was cut off as Zoe hit him in the face with a frying pan.

"That he's RAD! Ya, that's it, rad."

"Oh, of course… HOLD ON! ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL HIM?!"

"No, of course not!"

"Oh, so now you're too good for him?!"

"Hmm… possibly."

"Good then. That means I get to keep him." she said, before rapping her arms around Joey and nearly causing him to spit out the food. While all the attention was on them, a mysterious person came in and fell on Zoe.

"AHHH! MOKUBERT!"

"Sherbet?" Yugi reacted.

"Can I eat him?" Joey asked. _(A/n: The sherbert thing was Zoe's idea, kids. THANKS ZOE!)_

"NO!" Pegasus scolded. "Mokubert is my pet. HE SHAN'T BE EATEN!"

"He doesn't taste good anyway…" Yugi explained, recalling his licking contest with Kaiba. 

"He tastes good to me!" Pegasus exclaimed, before grabbing Mokuba and dragging him into a closet. Odd looks followed.

"YU-GI-OH PEOPLE! ON STAGE NOW!" ordered Tea through the loud speakers. Everyone sadly obeyed. "CHIMPY! YOU'RE DOING THE INTRO!"

"YAY!" Chimpy yelled, as he ran up to the camera. "HELLO AND WELCOME TO CHIMPY TIME!"

"CHIMPY TIME?!" Zoe yelled. "IF ANYTHING THIS SHOULD BE ZOE TIME!" She took out her frying pan and whapped Chimpy with it, making him pass out. "ANYWAY, welcome to Yu-Gee-"

"It's _Gi!_ Ok people?" Tea corrected.

"WHATEVER! So, just welcome to this show about us 'cause some people are too picky of pronunciations, hint, hint… Hey! Where's Yugi?" Yugi suddenly walked in wearing a jellyfish on his head. "WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Do you not pay attention, Yami? It is a jellyfish. A sea creature of the night."

"I KNEW THAT! But why is it there?!"

"I suspect it is sucking my brain…"

"What brain?"

"The one I have." There was suddenly a flash of light from the jellyfish. When the light vanished, a large pink brain was in it's place. _(A/n: The brain jellyfish was Arthur's idea.)_

"Ooo…. Cake. Can I eat it?" Joey asked.

"NO! It's a brain…." Selena informed.

"I AM NOW A GENIUS!"

"Hello, what's going on?" Pegasus asked as he walked in wearing fuzzy orange thongs on his head.

"Yugi became a genius, Peggy." Selena answered.

"Oh, well I'm a genius too." Pegasus replied as he pointed at the thongs on his head. "Here's the proof."

"LIAR!"

"You're just jealous I'm smarter."

"No I is not!"

"Psshhh… You don't spoke right."

"Be silent!" Yugi commanded. "By genius brain tells me it is now time to duel."

"Nah." replied Zoe. "I say we do something else that will be funner."

"But… MY BRAIN COMMANDS IT!"

"Well…." Zoe took out a bow and arrow. She readied it, and then fired an arrow at Yugi's brain, which popped like a balloon.

"WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE ARROW!" cheered Phoinex. The audience obeyed, as you probably already guessed, unless your brain was also popped by an arrow wielding Yami.

"HEY! HIS BRAIN WAS FILLED WITH HOT AIR!" Selena exclaimed, as she pointed.

"Of course it was. I knew all along, after all. _I'm_ the genius." said Peggy with his arms crossed.

"Ok… right… well…. COMMERCIAL BREAK!" yelled Zoe. "And we'll be right back. If you're lucky."

~*~~*~~*~

"Tired of loosing at Sumo?" started the announcer man. "Being made fun of for your size? Well then, _Sumo Cola_ is the drink for you! Guaranteed to increase your blubber 10 watt!" A large woman suddenly appeared on the screen holding a can of _Sumo Cola_.

"I used to only barley fit through the door. NOW I CAN BREAK THEM DOWN!" A man then appeared on the screen, who was just as large as the woman.

"_Sumo Cola_ helpe-" Joey suddenly pushed the man aside. 

"GIMME THAT, FATSO! JOEY IS THIRSTY!" He grabbed the can the man was holding and drank it in one gulp. He tossed it aside and then held his stomach. "I dun feel so good now…" His skin started to wobble and suddenly he became gigantic. His clothes ripped, all except for his boxers which expanded with him. He broke right through the roof and took up a space of 9 feet around. Chimpy and Zoe then walked over to the can Joey had thrown. Zoe picked it p and read aloud:

"Warning: Do not drink if you have a tendency to suck up food, or steal it from others with no thought. THIS MEANS YOU, JOEY."

"Uh-oh…" said Chimpy.

"JOEY! Uhh… GET RID OF YOUR EXCESS FAT THIS INSTANT!" Selena shouted.

"But I don't want to shrink. I CAN SQUISH YOU ALL!"

"NO!" 

"Aww…." Joey sighed as he shuffled his feet and accidentally stepped on Tea, which no one noticed.

"Joey Sumo, I command you to shrink."

"NO!"

"JOEY! SUMO MAMA COMMANDS YOU TO SHRINK!" Zoe ordered.

"But…"

"NO BUTS! I'm the leader of the Sumoloution. NOW DO AS I SAY!"

"Yes, ma'am…" Joey said as he began to shrink. His boxers though didn't do the same and covered him.

"AHHH! JOEY! AS LEADER OF THE SUMOLOUTION I NOW COMMAND YOU TO STAY IN THERE UNTIL WE GET YOU CLOTHES!"

"Bakura tired. No evil can come…"

"Bakara, please be silent now. YOU ARE ABSOLETE I SAY!"

"I AM NOT! I SHALL RULE THIS SHOW SOMEDAY!"

"Will not. Not as long as I am Yami."

"Hmm… interesting…" Bakura said to himself before taking off.

"Right, well… PEGGY! Take Joey's clothes to… Joey."

"It'll be my pleasure!" Pegasus yelled before running into the tent sized underpants.

"ZOE! What if Joey becomes gay?!" Selena asked.

"He wont. He'll just… uhh… wont."

"How do you know?"

"I am leader of the Sumoloution. It comes with great powers you cannot understand."

"I am sorry for questioning your greatness… I feel so ashamed…"

"Be calm, young Sumo. I forgive you. Now end the show."

"YESSIR! Ok, so here goes… THAT'S THE END OF THE SHOW! NOW JOIN US NEXT TIME UNLESS YOU WANT JOEY WHICH IS THE SAME AS SIGINING UP FOR A BLACK EYE!" she began to wave as she ran into Joeys boxers. "AHHH! PEGGY!"

"WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Zoe asked.

"Stop the madness!"

"AHH!" Zoe said as she began to ran in circles. The background then suddenly somehow caught fire.

"AHH! YAMI?! I'M LOST!" Yugi yelled before running into the camera. The screen suddenly changed as the signal was lost and black and white lines appeared. Mokuba then walked out and looked around.

"Ooo… It is time to use the sacred beep. Beeeeeeeepppppp…. This is not a test of the emergency system thingy. This is the real thingy. Please change the channel and save us from embarrassment. Thank you. This has been a message from Mokuba. Beeeeepppp…"


	4. The Wine Network

Chapter Four: The Wine Network

"WELCOME TO TEA-OH!" shouted Tea, who was standing right in front of the camera. Zoe suddenly appeared behind her and whacked her on the head with a large candle, in an anime style.

"NOT TEA-OH!"

"Joey-O's?" Selena reacted.

"I HEARD THE NAME OF FOOD!" Joey said, as he ran on stage out of no where.

"The show will be Tea-Oh, and that's final." Tea confirmed. She suddenly remembered the pain on her head and started to rub the spot where Zoe had hit her.

"It is not final! The show is Zoe-Gee-Oh, and _that's_ final."

"Not it's not! The show is Selena Loves Joey, and _that's_ final." Selena interrupted. The three girls then started to fight, and a cloud of black smoke surrounded them. Fists and faces could be seen here and there but only briefly. Then, Pegasus came out and snapped his fingers. People came out of no where and changed the set in an instant to a kitchen. Pegasus then took out a fancy apron and put it on.

"Hello, and welcome to the Wine Network. All wine, all the time." He paused and brushed his hair out of his face. "Today we'll be learning how to make white wine."

There was a loud sound that made Pegasus stop again. The sound was identified when Yugi hopped on stage with his ankles and wrists tied with sausages.

"TEA! You rotten drink, you… THE SHOW IS MINE!"

"Tea! Did you lock Yugi at the meat store again?" Zoe asked, stopping the fight and holding her position, which was about to punch Tea.

"NO! Of course not! I paid Yami Yugi to do it."

"NO SHE DIDN'T!" Yami Yugi protested angrily, as he walked on stage in a large turtle outfit. "I was down at the pet store doing-… Yami Yugi things…"

"What kind of things?" Pegasus asked, suddenly at Yami Yugi's side. "My kind of things?" 

"What things?"

"Like what I was going to do to Joey. Until SOMEBODY had to stop me." he said pointedly.

"But… nobody stopped you. You ran out of that tent on a fire truck, completely naked, while you laughed diabolically." Pegasus suddenly looked up in thought with his finger to his chin.

"OH YEAH!" he recalled, as he began to blush and smile. "That was quite a night I had down at the fire department… Hehehe…"

"HEY! Can we get back to ME?" Tea demanded. "You all still wont except that the show is called Tea-Oh."

"Because it's _not._" Zoe said.

"It doesn't matter. Yu-Gi-Oh isn't on today. TODAY IS MY DAY, OH YEAH!" Pegasus cheered as he ran behind a counter. "ANYWAY, to make a white wine, first you take out a bottle of white wine." He began to look through the cabinets, which were all empty. "Umm… YUGI! Bring me a bottle of white wine."

Everyone began to look around for Yugi. He had disappeared. Suddenly, a cabinet burst open and Yugi came out holding a bottle of white wine. He handed it to Pegasus, waved at the camera, and then closet the cabinet door.

"Thanks, dear. Right, so, as I was saying. You take a bottle of white wine and then pour it into a glass cup. And there! You've made white wine." Pegasus raised the glass and swiveled the contents around a bit. Then he sipped it with his pinky extended outward. "Mmm… delicious."

Zoe then walked onto the kitchen stage. She looked at Pegasus and then moved to the cabinet Yugi had come out of and opened it. "YUGI PATRICIA MOTO! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Patricia?" asked Chimpy as he stepped out of the refrigerator. 

"Yes, Patricia. Yugi P. Moto."

"YAMI! I told you not to tell!"

"Hush, boy. You did no such thing. Not come along, its time for your lunch. MOKUBERT! Bring in the baby seat." Mokuba ran up on stage with a baby seat, which he propped up by the counter Pegasus was standing behind. Chimpy then took out a bowl of soup and put it on the table.

Yugi then appeared in a second right in the baby seat. Pegasus then fished in his pocket and took out a bib. He handed the bib to Zoe, and she wrapped it around Yugi's neck.

"Now… Here comes the choo-choo!" Zoe raised a spoon of soup and then moved it like a train into Yugi's mouth.

"WEEEEEEEEE!" Yugi shouted as he swallowed the soup.

"Oh, Peggy, don't mind us." Zoe said, as she stuffed another spoonful into Yugi's mouth.

"I WONT! SO, now to make red wine. To start, you take out a bottle of red wine." Chimpy appeared this time from behind the counter and put a bottle on the counter. Then he ducked down and disappeared. "Then you open it, and…" Pegasus took out the cork and began to drink deeply from the bottle. "There. Red wine."

"Peggy…. Share." Mai said, as she stepped out from a closet. She walked over to Pegasus and snatched the bottle, then began to drank the rest of it.

"NO! STOP! THAT'S SUPPOSED TO LAST ME THE WHOLE DAY!"

"Too late, old timer. It's all gone." Pegasus burst out coughing.

"Old timer?" he asked when he finally subdued the coughing. 

"Yes, old timer. Look at your hair, it's all white."

"That's because I dyed it."

"Uh-huh… And these are fake." Mai said sarcastically, as she pointed at her breasts.

"They're not?" Yami Yugi whispered to Tea.

"Guess not…"

"I AM NOT OLD!" Pegasus went on.

"SHUT UP, PEGGY! Watch, Yugi, I'm off to the bathroom." Zoe said, before stomping off.

"Right, whatever…" Pegasus murmured. He suddenly dropped the wine bottles cork, which rolled under Yugi's table. He bent down to pick it out, but couldn't, so he moved the table over near the stove. Then, he bent down to pick up the cork again and fell over stupidly.

"Ooo…" Yugi ooed. He reached over to the knob and turned on the fire. Then he clapped in joy. "Pretty, pretty! But Yugi hungy now…" Yugi picked up the bowl of soup Zoe had left and put it on his head. "All better."

The sound of a toilet flushing was suddenly heard as Zoe stepped out of the bathroom. She stepped over Pegasus as if she didn't see him and walked up to Yugi.

"Oh, Peggy! You always take such good care of Yugi! But wait… WHAT'S THIS?!" Zoe gasped and pointed at Yugi's hair which was starting to come down. "THAT MYSTERIOUS SOUP IS DESTROYING MY YUGI'S HAIR!" Zoe ran to a nearby cabinet and pulled out a tub of hair gel. She handed it to Yugi and then took the bowl off his head. As Yugi was about to sink his hands into the hair product, and arrow flew past and knocked it off the table. Then, Bakura swung down on a rope with his legs extended and hit Zoe, who fell over on top of Pegasus's stomach.

"HAHAHAHA!" he yelled triumphantly. "I am now victorious!"

"Shut up, BAKARA!" Selena shouted as she ran over to Zoe. She got down and helped her sit up. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'RE RUINING PEGGY'S SHOW!"

"Hahaha… That's the beauty of it. This isn't Peggy's show, oh no. Yu-Gi-Oh was supposed to be aired right now. But he tricked you. In fact, that's not even Pegasus. See for yourself." The person Zoe was sitting on suddenly took off a mask and grabbed her with their arms. They stood up and held Zoe up in the air.

"ZOE!" Selena called out, but was stopped at someone suddenly through some kind of cord which wrapped around her arms.

"Uhh…. SUMO POWER!" Zoe yelled. She began to glow, and out of fear, the man let go of her. Zoe suddenly began to grow, and grow, and grow, and grow. She grew right through the roof. She grew fat as well, and suddenly had a Sumo Belt on. "RAAAAARRRRRRRR!"

"Quickly, get the emergency team out here!" Bakura yelled at the man who was captured Zoe. He nodded, and ran to push a button. At it's signal, a team of 6 men dressed in black came out carrying guns. "Shoot the tranquilizers!" Bakura told them.

"HAH! There isn't a drug strong enough in existence to stop Sumo Power!" Selena shouted from the floor.

"That's what you think. NOW FIRE!" The men circled around Sumo Zoe, and then fired at different parts of her body. The needles pinched through her skin and injected the toxins into her system. She began to shrink, and when she was back to normal, she fell on her knees and passed out. "Take her to freezer." Bakura commanded.

"NO! YAMI!" Yugi yelled in despair as he outstretched his hand.

"It's too late, Yugi." And he was right. It was too late, and Yugi had to watch as his unconscious Yami was dragged away into the shadows. "Bruce, clean up Yugi. I'll be in his office." Bakura then walked away, and left the man that had first captured Zoe to clean up Yugi. When he was done, he lifted him out of his seat and handcuffed his hands behind his back. Then he pushed him into Bakura's new office.

"Hello again, Yugi." Yugi growled in reply. "Calm down. YA RIGHT! Let's just get to the point. You're going to be locked up in the cellar where you usually put Tea when she gets out of control. Within 6. 3 hours, the hair gel in your hair will begin to be eaten by the lotion that was hidden in the cloth Bruce hear cleaned it will. Then your hair will fall. As we speak, your hair gel supply is being locked away in a place I cannot tell you. Now off with you." Bakura said, with a wave of his arm, as he turned in his chair. Bruce obeyed and just as he was going to push Yugi out of the room, Bakura turned and stood. "WAIT! Bruce, take the puzzle off his neck. I want to make sure he can't contact his precious Yami."

Bruce obeyed, and removed the Millennium Puzzle from Yugi's neck. Then he tossed it at Bakura who locked it in a vault.

"Now take him away." Yugi suddenly began to cry as he was dragged away, to face the torture Bakura had placed on him of bad hair.

Meanwhile, back on stage, Phoinex and Chimpy had managed to hide under the stands from Bakura's servants which were trapping all of the other people in imaginary boxes. They were the last hope of saving the show. Phoinex suddenly heard a noise from behind. And… WHAP! Chimpy was also whapped right after Phoinex fell to the floor. And that was it. Bakura had taken over.


	5. BakuraOh

Chapter 5: Bakura-Oh

"Welcome to Bakura-Oh!" Bakura yelled. He moved aside for the camera to see his hostages. "As you can see, Yu-Gi-Oh is no more."

"BOO!" shouted the audience back.

"QUIET, HUMAN MONKEYS BEFORE YOU FACE THE WRATH OF THE ROSE PETALS OF DOOM!"

"Stupid Bakara…" muttered Tea from her imaginary box. She was standing with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.

"Shut up, Tea! I NOW HAVE CONTROL! And we'll be right back after a quick message from our sponsor." The camera turned off, and Bakura walked off stage with a grin after one last look at the prisoners on stage.

"About time," Selena said when she was sure Bakura was out of earshot. "Joey! You help everyone in the imaginary boxes while I try to get free from here… We have to save the show…" She began to fidget around to try and break free from the ropes binding her.

While Selena tried to get free, Joey opened the imaginary door, walked out and ate a hamburger he found on the counter slowly. When he was done, he walked up to the imaginary guard and stanched his keys. Then he ran back to the imaginary box before the imaginary guard could catch him and closed the imaginary door, leaving the imaginary guard to run into it, fall, and make an imaginary sound.

Joey stuck the imaginary key into the imaginary keyhole and locked the imaginary door.

"JOEY!" scolded Yami Yugi.

"Woops…" Joey said as he tried to unlock the imaginary door. "I CAN'T UNLOCK IT! THERE'S AN IMAGINARY COOKIE THEIF STOPPING ME! HE"S GUARDING THE KEYHOLE!"

"Damn cookie thieves…" whispered Mai, so as to not upset the imaginary creature.

"WHAT CAN WE DO NOW?!" Yami Yugi shouted in despair. He jumped into Tea's arms and clung on dearly.

"Ooo… I KNOW!" Joey said. He took out an imaginary umbrella and floated over the imaginary box. He landed in front of the counter. Then, he picked up a knife and cut Selena free.

"WOOT! FREEDOM!" she yelled happily.

"Woot?" said Phoinex angrily from his prison, which was in a cabinet.

"PHOINEX!"

"I am, I am."

"Go rescue the people in the imaginary box from the imaginary cookie thief!"

"Yessir." he said instantly. He dragged Chimpy out from another cabinet and took them over to the imaginary box where they sat and began to do imaginary work.

"This calls for Sailor Psychic…" Selena decided. She ran over to the refrigerator and took out a pickle jar that contained the Psychic Wand, and the ChibiPsychic Wand. She pulled out the Psychic Wand, and dropped the pickle jar. Then she raised the wand and called, "PSYCHIC STAR POWER!" 

The psychic theme began to play and a shiny background surrounded Selena. She too became shiny and started to transform. Joey would've done something else that he'll do later during this time, but he knew what was coming and tried to hide under Chimpy. He failed though, as the PsychicChibi Wand flew to him without having to call out the words.

When the transformation was done, Joey was wearing an outfit similar to Selena, only with lighter colors.

"COME MINION OF MINE!" Selena yelled. "WE SHALL FIRST DO OTHER STUFF! UP, UP, AND AWAY!"

"But we can't fly…" Joey said.

"Oh, right… WAIT! YES WE CAN! With psychic magic. Poor minion… so much to learn." Sailor Psychic began to float and then flew through the hole had made, pulling Chibi Psychic along with her.

"WAIT! What about us?" Mai demanded.

"Calm down." said Phoinex as he sipped some juice. 'Our imaginary work will get you out of there in…. now." The walls of the imaginary box suddenly fell and made an imaginary sound that told them it had fallen. They stepped out quickly before some imaginary repair man came to fix it.

"What do we do now?" Yami Yugi asked.

"Save the Zoe!" Phoinex answered.

"Why?" Chimpy asked. Phoinex whapped him on the back of the head.

"BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOU YOUR JOB!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Let's go then!" Phoinex ran off, and Chimpy followed. Mai and Yami Yugi stayed behind and looked at one another. Then Tea jumped in between. 

"Ok, cut it out you two…."

"Cut out what?" Yami Yugi asked.

"That thingy…"

"Did someone mention thingy?" Peggy asked. He was back at the counter sipping a bottle of wine. The rest of the gang starred at him. "WHAT?!"

~*~~*~~*~

"ZOE! ZOE! Where art thou?" Phoinex called out as he walked through the snow of Antarctica. "ZOE?!"

"Hey… this isn't a freezer!" Chimpy declared.

"IT'S NOT?! THEN WHY IS IT SO COLD?!"

"I… don't…. know…"

"… BACK TO THE SET THEN!" Phoinex yelled, raising his hand high and pointing with his pointer finger up. There was a lash and suddenly he and Chimpy were on the freezer back in the studio. "Where's the freezer, now, trusty Chimpy?"

"That way." Chimpy said, pointing at a broom closet.

"… Right! THE OPPOSITE METHOD!" Phoinex turned and looked at the door across from the broom closet Chimpy had pointed out. It was metal, with a foggy window.

"Oooo… shiny metal…"

"Correct." He opened the door, and Chimpy gasped. Inside, was Zoe, eating ice-cream, along with ice-cream al around her face.

"SHINY METAL!" Chimpy cried out. He pounced at the back of the door with his tongue and stuck there.

"Zoe! Gimme some!…. I mean… WE HAVE TO SAVE YUGI AND HIS HAIR!" Phoinex said, running in and grabbing Zoe by the hand. He lifted her up and pushed her out the door. "Go! Quick! YOU ARE NEEDED! I'm right behind you…" As Zoe ran away without a word, Phoinex ran back into the freezer and grabbed the ice-cream bucket. He lifted it to his mouth and began to drink deeply the melted chocolate. When he was done, he tossed it away and began to run after Zoe, before closing the freezer door, locking in Chimpy.

~*~~*~~*~

"Everybody loves Bakura, ya-ah! Everybody loves Bakura, I know they do-o! NOW LOVE ME!" Bakura sang on stage. "I own this show… NOW LOVE ME!"

"Not so fast, Mr.!" Sailor Psychic said as she stepped out from behind Bakura.

"GASP!" Bakura screamed in horror like a girl. "SAILOR PSYCHIC! Well…. I KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS!" Bakura ran away to the kitchen stage and over to the fridge. He opened it harshly and took out a bucket of something. He ripped off the lid, then through the substance at Sailor Psychic. It landed on her chest and face. Within seconds, Sailor Psychic fell to the ground squirming. 

"Fat… free…. Cheese…" she said before passing out. Her body glowed, and then her Sailor outfit disappeared as she was back in her normal clothes.

"YAY! I mean… OH NO!" Joey said in a high-pitched voice. He also began to glow and then he still in his Sailor outfit. "Rats…"

"NOT SO FAST, BAKARA!" Zoe shouted triumphantly as she appeared at the doorway with Phoinex close behind. Zoe dug in her pocket and took out a brown wand with a star on the top. She tossed it up and it turned around several times. Then, she raised her hand and grabbed it. Finally, she yelled, "CHOCOLATE DAIRY POWER, MAAAAAKE UP!"

A dark brown background with chocolate bars on it appeared behind her. Then a spout of chocolate syrup came out from the top of the star and fell over Zoe. It surrounded over her tightly. Then the chocolate expanded with a flash and Zoe was shown. The background disappeared, and their stood Sailor Chocolate.

Now she was wearing a brown skirt with a white shirt. In the middle of the shirt, over Zoe's chest was a cube of chocolate with a light brown ribbon coming out from it. She had a golden tiara over her forehead with a small standing oval shaped piece of chocolate at its center. Lace-less boots that reached up to Zoe's legs were on her legs.

"… How many identities does Zoe have?" Yami Yugi asked Tea.

"Dunno… dun care…" Tea answered, while the started at Sailor Chocolate.

Zoe put her hands over each other in a circle shape. A sphere appeared in the middle of it and she spun around and put her arms to the side while yelling, "Melted Chocolate Blast!" The sphere flew at Bakura's feet, sticking him to the ground. "BWAHAHA! NOW YOU'RE STUCK! I AM SUPERIOR!"

"Grr…. Well your Yugi is still in danger! In 10 minutes his hair will fall and the end of the world shall come!"

"NO! YUGI!" Zoe cried in fear. "YUGGGIIIIIIII!"

"DUN DURURUN DUN DUN! JOEY TO THE RESCUE!" Joey jumped out from behind the counter and landed behind Bakura. He gave him a wedgie and then cackled. 

"QUICK! TO THE YUGI CAVE!" Phoinex said.

"There's a Yugi cave?!?! WHY WAS I UNAWARE?!" Sailor Chocolate complained.

"No… I meant… TO THE PLACE YUGI IS HIDING!"

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense. TO WHERE PHOINEX SAID!"

"Where is the place you say I said?"

"I'm not sure… YUGI PATRICIA MOTO! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU HIDING?!"

"IN BAKARA'S OFFICE!"

"There ya go. That's the place you say I say you say."

"TO THE BAT CAVE THEN!" Phoinex declared, before running the opposite way of Bakura's Office. Meanwhile, Sailor Chocolate ran the other way to Bakura's office. She gasped as she saw Yugi chained to his chair.

"YOUR HAIR IS ALL DROOPY! MELTED CHOCOLATE BLAST!" Sailor Chocolate fired her attack at Yugi's hair. Then she ripped the chains off with her mouth, allowing Yugi to shape his hair. And so the day was saved, thanks to, The Powerpuff Girls! Woops… wrong show!

~*~~*~~*~

"Thanks for saving the show, Zoe. Show Zoe… Show Zoe… Show Zoe… RHYMINESS!" Yugi said at the park where everyone (minus Bakura) was sitting on a large blanket having a picnic.

"You're welcome. AND QUIT THAT! AND YOU! PHOINEX! SHARE THE ICE-CREAM!" Phoinex was in a corner holding a bucket of ice-cream and eating from it.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Holly shit… Am I outside?!" Mai said. There were bottles of wine scattered all around her as usual.

"Yes… you are outside… in a dream… in not realness… Now drink your wine." Yugi slowly said to her.

"OK!" Mai said perkily. She took a sip of wine and then passed out.

"Hmph... Weakling." Pegasus said as he took a sip of water and also passed out.

"… Has anyone seen Chimpy?" Zoe suddenly asked.

"Nope… not me…" Phoinex said, taking another bite of ice-cream. Everyone stared at him. "WHAT?! IT'S TRUE!"


	6. Drama At Last! You’ve Gone Too Far This ...

Chapter 6: Drama At Last! You've Gone Too Far This Time, Peggy!

"We're almost there… ALMOST THERE!" Tea yelled triumphantly. She was shaking her fists madly from all the excitement, her teeth grinding against one another, an insane smile on her face. The cast of Yu-Gi-Oh was currently doing the opening, and they were almost finished with it. No interruptions, gay confessions, no screaming little old men, kissing, and lots of other stuff that if they were to be mentioned there would be no room left for the story.

The cast was nearing the part where Yugi and Peggy's head were in front of a dueling arena. Tea scanned everywhere for any flaws. Then she saw one tiny detail: Peggy was uncontrollably smiling. As he and Yugi's heads neared, Pegasus bent in, grabbed Yugi by the cheeks and started kissing him passionately.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!" Tea groaned. The show would never be normal. Never with these people… As she drifted deep into another segment of regrets from her life, some of the light people went to pull Peggy off of Yugi. It wasn't easy, Peggy was far to into it, and he fought back. But eventually, he was taken away and locked in a closet.

As Yugi was saved from Peggy's clutches, he began to squirm on the floor. His lips has been contaminated. Chimpy rushed on set with a bucket of water, which he cautiously dumped on Yugi.

"Need…. Sandpaper…" Yugi said with the little strength he had left. Chimpy rushed to the utility room and came back with Yugi's request. Yugi snatched it out of his hand and began to rub his lips with it hardly.

"Is there a Ms. Tea Gardener here?" said the voice of a man that has just walked in. He was wearing a large white uniform, with a partner standing next to him wearing the same thing. They were both quite large, and their size scared Mokuba so much that he ran far, far away.

"That's her over there." Mai gladly pointed out. The two men turned to look at Tea. She was huddled in a corner muttering things to herself about all the mistakes she had made. The cast knew it was perfectly normal by now.

The men approached Tea. The looked at each other, and then back down at her, and then they turned around to talk.

"She's the one, right?" asked the first man. The second one nodded and looked down a list. He couldn't read well, and as he looked down at the circled box that read "Maxamillian Pegasus" he for some reason read "Tea Gardener".

"Yep, that's her." he answered. The turned back and looked down at Tea.

"Ms. Gardener, we need you to come with us." they said. Mai suddenly ran up and tapped the second man on the shoulder.

"Where are you taking her?" she asked excitedly.

"An asylum in northern France."

"Oh… YAY!" Mai cheered. She ran back to tell the rest of the crew the news.

"…. YES! YESSS!!!! TAKE ME! TAKE ME AWAY FROM THESE INSANE PEOPLE!" Tea demanded. The man she was talking with picked her up and put her on his shoulder, then he and his partner walked out, and passed Yugi as he finished up sandpapering his lips.

"Wait… Those suits…" Tea said. "WAIT A MINUTE! I AM NOT THE INSANE ONE! TAKE THEMMMM! THEY'RE REPLACABLE! I'M NOT!!!" Tea suddenly yelled. She kicked and kicked all she could, but nothing happened due to the fact that she was so weak. 

"Bye Tea!" Yugi shouted, as he ran up to the rest of the cast. "What do we do now?"

"I saw we blow up Yugi…" Bakura muttered from the back of the group.

"BAKARA! NO ONE INVITED YOU! Selena, would you do the honors?" Phoinex said. Selena nodded in response, a smile on her face to show it was her pleasure. She turned around and charged at Bakura with her head. The impact send Bakura flying through the roof and to Pluto.

"Ok… So, NOW what do we do?" Yugi asked again. A hiss was heard. Everyone looked around to see where it came from. Chimpy was the one to realize where it came from.

"It's the speakers!" he said. Sk8er Boi was suddenly heard in every direction, not in Avirl's voice.

"Why… I know who that is…" Zoe said. The dueling stadium rose from the ground behind her just as she finished her sentence. In the center, was Misty from Pokemon, holding a microphone. Her hand was raised, pointing at Zoe.

"Sorry Zoe, but you missed out! Well tough luck Ash is mine now! We are more then just good friends! This is how the story ends! Too bad that you couldn't see, see the man Ash will be! There is more then meets the eye, your friend Peggy sees the soul that lives inside!" Misty sang out with all her might. Yugi and Yami Yugi started dancing together to the beat. 

Meanwhile, Zoe frowned at the words Misty was saying. As the song ended, Zoe and her friends approached the stadium.

"YOU'RE WRONG! YAMI CAN SEE THE SOUL INSIDE! PEGGY STEALS'EM! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN ASH IS YOURS?!" Zoe yelled angrily. Misty sneered.

"You left him for… _that._" Misty said, nodding her head at Yugi who was still dancing with his ex-Yami.

"I didn't…" Zoe lied.

"You did!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"…. I CHALLENGE YOU!"

"… To?"

"A POKEMON BATTLE!" 

"I ACCEPT!" Zoe climbed up onto the stadium. She and Misty both took one side. "How many Pokemon?"

"Five."

"Why?"

"RANDOM NUMBER!"

"Oh, I get it. You're not smart enough to pick." Zoe gasped. So did Mokubert, in an oddly feminent tone.

"I CAN TO THINK UP A NUMBER!"

"THEN DO IT!"

"THREE!"

"OK!"

"LET'S BEGIN!" Tristen announced. That song from the bugs bunny movie where they play basketball suddenly started to play.

"Polywhirl, I choose you!" Misty said. She threw out a poke ball, and out of it emerged the Pokemon she summoned.

"KAIBAR, I CHOOSE YOUUU!!!!" Zoe called out. She pointed at a spot in front of her, and then Kaiba disappeared from the crowd, and reappeared where Zoe was pointing with purple skin.

"… KAIBA WAS A POKEMON ALL THIS TIME?!?!?! WHY WAS I UNAWARE?!?!?!" Selena demanded.

"BACK OFF!" Zoe argued.

"Polywhirl, DOUBLESLAP!" 

"Dun dun dun dun durururun!" Yami sang for special affects, like when the Pokemon is about to attack on Pokemon.

"Kaibar, FIGHT BACK WITH POSSED TRENCHCOAT!" Zoe commanded.

"Kai, ai, KAIBAR!" Kaibar yelled, raising his arms in the air. Copies of his trench coat appeared before him and attacked Polywhirl. Dust rose high from the speed of the attacks. Once it cleared, Polywhirl was seen, wearing one of the trench coats.

"NOOOO! POLYWHIRL! That went out of style last year!" Misty groaned as her Pokemon returned to it's poke ball. She took out another and through it. "STARYU! GOOOO!"

"Gack, WATER POKEMON! KAIBAR, RETURN! YUGICHU, GO!" Kaiba returned to the crowd, and then Yugi appeared on the stadium with red cheeks.

"HAHAHA! YUGI'S EMBARASSED!" Joey shouted, while laughing insanely on the floor.

"AM NOT! IT'S THAT STUPID PIKACHU! WHY MUST HE HAVE RED CHEEKS?!?!?! WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!" Yugi yelled. He fell to the floor on his knees, and screamed at the top of his lounges.

"… STARYU! SPINNY ATTACK WHERE YOU HIT THE OTHER DUDE REAL HARD WITH YOUR POINTY THINGS!" Misty ordered. Staryu flew up into the air and started to spin real fast. So fast, Joey passed out from watching. Eventually, once Staryu was done showing off, he or she, whatever it is, flew down and hit Yugichu in the chin, then flew back up into the air to show off some more.

"YUGICHU! HAIR STATIC!" Zoe said.

"Yuch, giyu, CHUUUUU!" A blast of thunder came down from some high place, don't ask me where, 'cause I didn't see, ANDGET OFF MY CASE CAUSE YOU WOULDN'T'VE EITHER! Anyway, the lightning stayed for a while in Yugi's hair, until Yugi pointed it at Staryu and the lighting flew at her. She fell to the ground all crispy like.

"Ack… STARYU! RETURN! PSYDUCK! GO!"

"Duck, ps-" Psyduck said. He suddenly stopped as he saw Mokubert. His eyes turned heart shaped and he ran off the stadium and began chasing Mokubert all around. Yami watched with mild amusment

"HAHA! I win!" Zoe gloated. Misty screamed.

"NOOOO! NOW I HAVE TO RETURN THE SOULS I STOLE TO HELP BRING BACK CECELIA!!!!!" Everyone stared at Misty like she was insane.

"Woops.. Wrong show. I mean… uhhh… DAMN YUGICHU!" she ran out of the studio crying, forgetting her Psyduck.

"Ok, well… SHOWS OVER! Time tah leave. Selena, could you and Kaibar take out the basura, pwease?" Phoinex asked, before running out really fast.

"SURE!" Selena agreed. She grabbed Bakura by the hair, while Kaiba grabbed some trash bags. Then they went outside, and home after dumping the garbage in the place where it should be, until you came along and rummaged through it, you bad, bad person. You should be ashamed.

Well, 4 hours after you rummaged through the trash, Peggy burst out of the closet and yelled, "TA-DA!" But once he saw everything was empty he started to cry. He was alone again. No one understood him. He was like he was because he missed his dear wife… He could never love again, because no one would love him. He was alone in the world, always acting so sick just to push people away. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted Cecelia. 

As he left the studio, some kids approached him.

"Hey, old man, want some?" said one, holding out a cigarette. Peggy looked down at the lifeless object. He took it quickly. He didn't care anymore. The kid smiled sinisterly as he lit the thing… then he let Peggy walk off. 

~*~~*~~*~

Meanwhile, Psyduck was chasing Mokubert through South Africa, and Tea was bouncing around in her squishily soft insanity room.


	7. Myranda and Peggy, Fear the Possibility!

Chapter Seven: Myranda and Peggy, Fear the Possibility!

It was a quiet sunny morning at the WB Studios. The characters of the many hit shows were just arriving to start the work day. At this moment, Selena was driving the Psychic Mobile politely and slowly into her parking spot. Her license plate read "CHSEMNKY", and shined with a fresh wash of absolute responsibility. 

Meanwhile, Yugi was walking up with his Yami. They waved at Selena and then continued on their way to the cafeteria. At the entrance, they met with Joey. He kindly stepped aside and allowed them to pass first, which was the courteous thing to do. As he approached the food table, he was thoughtful enough to remember not to take too much and to leave some for the other employees… 

SUCKERS!!! That wasn't what happened, nor will it ever be what happens, not even in the alternate reality Tea imagines every time some sort of obscenity occurs, or even in your imagination because your mind is weak, weakling, and cannot support such lies that are not true because they are far too opposite from the things that do happen because they are, which is why I say you're puny mind can't take it because it's weak. 

The WB Studios were anything but quiet. The buildings were bouncing in their usual fashion, and Selena was driving the Psychic Mobile like a maniac. She ran over the gate, then crashed into a wall, bounced back, crashed again, then chose to park somewhere else and crashed into a fire thing, who's proper name cannot be mentioned because I can't spell it and because neither can my computer, and we're both too lazy to look in the dictionary, so deal with it, it's not like you'd look it up. 

Yugi and Yami were RUNNING, not walking, into the area. Yami was chasing Yugi, holding out a little blue bird in his hands while Yugi ran away in horror from it, his hands outstretched, screaming like a little girl. 

"LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT I SAY! TOUCH ITTT!" yelled Yami madly.

And Selena did not wave, instead she laughed. And laughed hard at the Yugi. "HAHAHAHA! YOU FEAR BIRDS! CHILDREN OF THE TREES AND CLOTH POOPING! I SUMMON YOU TO PLACE YOURSELVES IN THAT WHICH IS YUGI'S HAIR! I COMMANED IT OF YOU!!!"

The birds in the nearby trees screeched loudly at their disruption. They heard the cry of Selena and then flew up into the sky in one big bird group thingy, and then shot down at Yugi's hair, deep within. It seemed to inflate as more and more birds penetrated the tough hair gel.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yugi hollered like a girl. He tried to escape the madness of his hair by running into the cafeteria. Suddenly, the loud noises started coming from the Psychic Mobile's trunk, then Joey popped out tied up in chains. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, "MY FOOOOOOOD!!!" He seemed to gather strength from his passion, and was able to break the chains easily, and dash into the cafeteria and eat all the food before Selena had even blinked.

And THAT is how the day REALLY and TRUTHFULLY started. As you can see, I was right when I said your mind is weak because mine is not and that is why I was able to write the fake beginning, unlike you who is incapable because you have a weak mind and cannot comprehend something so absurd that is not true. Especially not, I'm sorry to mention this, and make your head hurt, but especially not the thought of Joey being considerate because that is insane as Tea, who is currently kicking in a squishy room in northern France. Now on with our feature presentation. 

Selena ran up to the cafeteria. There wasn't much to run up to though, Yugi's enlarged hair had crushed the wall to pieces, ruining the foundation and making the entire building collapse.

"JOEY! YOU AREMY PRISONER! You're not supposed to break free unless someone saves you!" Selena complained.

"But it was an emergency!" Joey argued.

"NO BUTS! You didn't leave me any cheese or donuts. You shall be punished… NO PRISONER FOR YOU!" she walked off angrily to the Yu-Gi-Oh Studios, leaving Joey with a sad face. Yami followed her, and then so did Joey, while Yugi stayed in the former spot of the cafeteria and kept running in circles with his enlarged hair.

"MORNING CHILDREN!" Yami greeted as he entered the studio. The cast of _Mucha Lucha _starred at him. Crickets chirped in the background. "… SELENA! YOU LED ME INTO THE WRONG STUDIO!"

"I DID NOT! There's more. Press X if you wish to continue." she said in a computer voice. Yami looked around and saw that the floor had 4 symbols painted on it. An X, a square, a triangle, and a circle. 

"Uhhh… THIS ONE!" he jumped onto the triangle. In Northern France, Tea suddenly started to enlarge. She got so big her jacket ripped and she broke through the roof. She then began terrorizing the locals.

"Meh… Must be busted. THIS ONE!" Yugi came flying through the wall, and his hair landed on a pin shaped character of _Mucha Lucha_. Birds began to fill the studio. Yami gasped. 

"INVASION! BUTTON PRESS!" he jumped onto the X. Selena continued walking and Yami followed. They shot out of the door, and Yami locked it behind him. Something slapped against it on the other side, and a dent shaped like Yugi appeared. Someone started knocking on the door to be let out.

"SELENA NIGHT! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YO MY YUGI?!?!?!" screamed the voice of Zoe, who was stomping towards Yami and Selena.

"EEEEEEPPP!" went Selena. "HE'S IN THERE!" she confessed, pointing at the Yugi dented door.

"WHERE?!?! I SEE NOT THE SPOT YOU SPEAK OF!!!"

"THERE!"

"WHERE!"

"ZOEEEE!" Yugi called form the door.

"Granny Beatrice? Is that you? Have you come back from the grave?!?!?!" Zoe asked looking around frantically for the spirit of her granny.

"NO! It's YUGI! OPEN THE DOOR!" Zoe opened the door. She came face to face with hundreds of birds who were all screeching grumpily. 

"Oh yeah? TAKE THIS! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" with that one scream, Zoe scared away all the birds who flew back to their trees, leaving Yugi trembling at Zoe's feet. "My poor baby…" Zoe looked down for a few seconds with a sad face. Then she grabbed Yugi's ear with a wide smile and started marching off towards the proper studio which was right in front of the former _Mucha Lucha_ studio. Selena and Yami followed her, and then Selena sped up to talk.

"Zoe, could I borrow Ash?"

"Uhh? Oh, sure ya can! Why now?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at her.

"To play prisoner!"

"Oh, ok." Zoe replied as she opened the doors and walked in. "HELLO EVERYBODY!"

"Hey." said Yami.

"BACK!" Selena yelled, with a leash behind her that was attached to a chained Ash Ketchum.

"Wow, that was fast… YOU MUST BE CLARK KENT!" Chimpy declared, running over to poke Selena. 

"BACK OFF, MUD BOY!" Chimpy squeaked.

"WOOT! Let's hear it for the leash!" Phoinex cheered. The cast applauded, since no audience members had arrived yet.

"Hey… LOOK! SOMEONES COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Mokubert shouted out before hiding on the roof.

The light from the doorway shined into the studio as the silhouette of a girl appeared. The light shone on her blonde hair, and on her purple shirt and dark blue jeans. She seemed like a painting, her movements like a slideshow of paintings. Rose petals passed by her pale face to draw attention to it. Then she stopped before the group still looking like a painting with her eyes closed.

"YUGI! STOP MESSING WITH THE SPECIAL AFFECTS!!!!" Zoe scolded. She looked to the side to see Yugi playing with the buttons on a panel labeled 'Special Effects'. "Turn off the beauty expresser!" Yugi flipped a switch, and pushed a button. The girl was no longer like a painting, and the roses were no longer passing by. "NOW APLOLOGIZE!"

"I'm sorry!"

"NOOOOOOO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY IT LIKE YOU DON'T MEAN IT! NOW DO IT RIGHT!!!!"

"I'm sorry." Yugi said in a teasing voice.

"Good."

"Who are you, IMPOSTER PEGGY?!?!?!" Phoinex asked.

"… She looks nothing like Peggy, Finney." Zoe said.

"No, she does not. So speaks of wisdomish things. But so does the great Finney, as I, great Selena, do. Who are you?"

"ME? I am *Myranda* star of stars of shining stars of the stars of the universe that shine! One of the beautiful people better then all of you because…" on and on she went for half an hour, and then all the way into the afternoon. By the time she stopped, no one was awake. She had to scream loudly to wake them up.

"HUH?! WHAT?! I SAY THE ANSWER IS KAIBA!" yelled Selena quickly.

"CALM DOWN, GIRL, IT'S ONLY A DREAM!" Zoe reassured. 

"Oh… WAKE UP PRISONER!" Selena yelled again, waking up Ash. Joey looked at them from the other side of the room and his lip trembled. Selena ignored him.

"You have all missed the grand speech of Myranda!"

"I didn't." said a voice. Peggy appeared from behind Kaiba. Myranda's eyes turned into hearts as she saw him.

"Who are you?!" she demanded.

"I AM PEGGY! LEADER OF THE GRASSHOPPERS!"

"PEGGY! FOR THE LAST TIME! THIS IS _NOT_ DISNEY!" Finney scolded.

"AND I DO NOT CARE!"

"PEGGY! Come away with me… COME AWAY I SAY AND WE CAN ATTACK INNOCENT UNSUSPECTING CIVILIANS AT THE MALLAND TONIGHT IN THE DARKNESS OF THE PARK!" Myranda invited.

"YEEEAAAA!" Peggy agreed, running out the door with Myranda.

"Aww.. They're gone…" Zoe said sadly.

"They are, they are." Finney added.

"YUGI! USE THE BEAUTY EXPRESSER ON ME NOW!!!" Zoe ran up to the entrance, and Yugi to the Special Effects panel. He flipped a switch and pushed a button and Zoe began to enter like Myranda had.

"Come with me, slave!" Selena said to Ash, tugging at his leash.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!" Joey raared, as he jumped out from a table and ripped the leash to shreds with his teeth. "ME PRISONER! ME GET THE FOOD! NO YOU!" Ash ran away whimpering like a dog.

"Awww, Joey! I MISSED YA!" Selena admitted, tying Joey in his chains and giving him a fish.

"Chimpy is a chimp, with many chimp tricks, you take him down and pass him around and you get a bite on the lip!" Chimpy sang as he left.

"HEY! But we haven't filmed the show! This means…. RERUN OF DOOM!" Phoinex exclaimed.

"Whateva." Chimpy answered as he put on his dark sunglasses. Selena dragged Joey out of the studio, and Phoinex put the tape of an old episode in the VCR. Before he pushed play though, he watched a report about some sort of monster heading for Paris on the other side of the world.

Then before leaving, he made sure to cut up the ladder so that Mokubert couldn't get down.

~*~~*~~*~

"RAAAAAAARRR!" Tea screamed as she climbed the Eiffel tower. Helicopters tried to approach her to shoot missiles but she crushed them with her hand. "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF TEA!!!!" she declared before she fell to the ground and was locked back in her squishy room at the asylum. 


	8. Birthday Confusion and the Truth Behind ...

Chapter 8: Birthday Confusion And The Truth Behind the Mysterious Hair Gel!

Phoinex was leaning on the kitchen table at his house. He was watching a news report on TV about some sort of maniac that had escaped a correctional facility in Northern France. He shook his head and thought about how afraid all those little French people must have been. They mentioned the maniac had the potential to murder.

The off button on the remote clicked as he pressed it, and began to make his way towards the door. As he stepped out he looked around at the sunshine and frowned. It was oddly sickening to him. Then he locked the door behind him and turned into a bat, and began to fly toward the WB Studios. Down below, he saw the bouncing buildings and characters running in all sorts of directions. He landed in front of the Yu-Gi-Oh studio.

Inside the studio, it was completely dark. The cast was hiding wherever they could, giggling stupidly as Phoinex opened the door. He looked around at the seemingly empty room, and then flicked on the lights. Everyone popped out and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

"AHHH! YOU FREAKS! STOP-STALKING-MEEEE! I mean… Woot!" Phoinex replied.

"Happy Birthday, Finney!" Zoe said, approaching Phoinex with a gift. _Holy crap, it's my birthday… I forgot to buy myself something!_, Phoinex thought.

"Umm… Thanks! I'll a… be… back… IN A MINUTE! GET OFF MY CASE!" he turned back into a bat and flew off to the store. The cast sat down to wait, and half an hour later Phoinex came back with a large wrapped package.

"Now who's birthday is it again?" he asked.

"… Yours!" Selena answered.

"… No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." The conversation you are reading right now is far too long for me to write. Phoinex and Selena kept saying the same thing to each other for a full hour, and that would take up too much space, so we are just going to zoom to where Myranda interrupts. Ok? No? Then deal with it.

"OK! If it ain' yo' birthday, I'll take that!" Myranda interrupted. She stood up from the crate she was sitting on and removed the package from Phoinex's hands.

"WAIT! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Kaiba blurted.

"Really?" Yami asked.

"YES! I KNOW IT! I just remembered."

"No it's not!" Mokuba argued. He stood up to face his brother. "Your birthday's not today!"

"IT IS TOO! I'm the smart one, you must submit to my wisdom."

"But…"

"NO BUTS!"

"I'LL PROVE IT!" Mokuba raised his arm and a triumphant background of red and yellow stripes appeared behind him. He lowered his arm, and the background disappeared, then he ran out of the studio.

"NOW EVERYONE, SING THE SONG OF KAIBA! THE BIRTHDAY BOY!" demanded Kaiba. Everyone started to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. They played games which involved hitting each other, kicking each other, bouncing on one another, sliding across the floor and running into a back of chocolates, and floating on balloons, until Mokuba returned with something in his hands. He climbed onto a crate and raised it high.

Everyone gasped. As Mokuba opened it, everyone could clearly see it was a calendar of Peggy modeling off different types of thongs in places all over the world.

"WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?!?!" Myranda shouted at Peggy.

"They were banned from the stores. No idea why." Peggy sadly answered. Mokuba flipped through the pages to August and raised it high again. One of the boxes was marked "Kaiba's Birthday" in big pink letters.

"This is my brothers calendar. This is his writing. This is not August. Today is not his birthday. Thank you." Mokuba said. He got off the crate and then handed the calendar to Myranda who started drooling on it.

"So who's birthday is it then?" Zoe asked. "I know it's somebody's…"

"Mine." Tristen said as he opened a can with his hair. He looked up at Zoe. "The little man inside my head says so."

"… GAYWAFFER!" Selena called out. "IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY! YOU HAVE NO BIRTHDAY YOU DON'T EXIST!!!"

"But… but…"

"Selena speaks the truth! TO THE CLOSET WITH YOU, TRISTA!" Yugi said.

"Tristen."

"It does not matter! YOU EXIST NOT!" Tristen sighed and then locked himself in the closet.

"SO WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS IT?!?!" Zoe asked angrily,

"I dunno, NOR DO I CARE! I just need to fix my hair!" Yugi said before leaving to the make-up room.

"Hey… ME TOO!" Joey followed him in. Zoe looked at the two boys suspiciously, and decided to follow them when she heard screams. When she walked into the room, she say Yugi with Joey's hair style, and Joey with Yugi's hair style.

"GASP! YUUUUGGGIIIII!" she screamed in horror.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yugi screamed as he saw himself in the mirror.

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!" Joey screamed as he saw himself in the mirror.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!" Zoe hollered at them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Yugi screamed again.

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!" Joey screamed again.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!"

"ANSWER SUMO MAMA!" Zoe threatened as she took out a can of Sumo Cola and held it to her mouth threateningly. 

"AH-" Yugi began, but stopped with his mouth wide open as Zoe growled at him. "All we did was put the hair gel in the hair." Zoe looked at the table. She walked over and grabbed the tub of hair gel on Yugi's desk thing, and read the warning label aloud.

"Warning. This product contains hazardous materials (IT HAS RADIOACTIVE JUNK, FREAK), and should not be over used. Nor should an entire tub be used to make your hair do weird things like get all pointy and such. (THIS MEANS YOU TRISTEN AND THE REST OF YOUR FREAK FRIENDS) You have been warned."

"… THAT'S A LIE! I AM NOT TRISTEN'S FRIEND! I am merely an acquaintance."

"… BIG WORDS! YOU THREATEN JOEY!!!" Joey screamed with fear. Out in the other room, Selena turned sharply at the door of the make-up room. 

"Joey…senses… TINGLING!" she charged at the door and broke it down, then over in front of Joey with her arms outstretched to protect him. "Who dares hurt Joey without my supervision?" Zoe pointed at Yugi. Yugi whimpered in fear and hid behind his Yami, crying like a baby. 

"Well Joey switched he and Yugi's hair gels." Zoe lied calmly and expertly.

"Oh? DID YOU JOEY?!" Selena turned behind her and saw Joey cowering in the corner of the room.

"Yes…" he managed to squeak.

"THEN YOU ARE FORGIVEN, YUGI PATRICIA MOTO! YOU MAY NOW RESUME WITH YOUR PITIFUL LIFE! COME, MINION!" Selena said, gesturing to Joey. They both walked out of the room, Selena pretending to fly with her arms in front of her making 'whoosh' noises. They were soon followed by Zoe, who was angrily carrying Yugi on her back. Yugi had a large smile on his face, since he had a small Jollyranchers lollipop Zoe had explained was smaller then Joey's brain.

His hair was also back to normal, as Zoe had fixed it for him. Joey had not yet fixed his hair though and as Zoe caught sight of him her eyes narrowed and she growled. She dropped Yugi on the floor, who bounced back up due to the diaper he was wearing underneath, and again and again, and so on and so forth.

Meanwhile, five minutes later Zoe popped out of the make-up room with a gun attached to a tub of hair gel.

"JOEY WHEELER, YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW!!! THAT HAIR HAD A STRICT COPYRIGHT WHICH YOU HAVE VIOLATED! NOW YOU MUST PAYYYY AND DEARLY!" she pulled the trigger and some of the hair gel went flying at Joey's hair. Joey gasped and then dived behind a large crate. The hair gel landed on the wall, and melted in, then continued flying, where it hit a large girl named Tea on the other side of the world right in the face and made her fall into the ocean.

"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE SUMO MAMA!" Zoe cakled insanely as she started randomly shooting. So randomly, Joey's brain was sure the coast was clear and so made Joey stand up. 'Surprisingly' the glob of hair gel hit him right in the hair. 

His hair started to move in all directions. Once the hair gel settled, Joey had Tea's hair style. He screamed like a little gitof a girl. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" While Zoe continued to cackle evilly, just to show off how much better her cackle was then anybody's. Somewhere, wherever it is that I put Bakura, which I'm saying because I'm too lazy to look back where it is I put him because it's very early and I'm writing this now with inspirational music so I can do homework later. Worship the ground I walk on for waking up in this cold to write this for you people.

Anyway, where ever Bakura was, he was crying miserably because Zoe's cackle was so much better than his. When _he_ cackled, it sounded like a meow. Oddly, he was proud of it. He THOUGHT he had the second best cackle, which is not true, because I do. ACCEPT IT BAKURA!

Well, as Selena rose from her hiding place (behind Zoe) she gasped as she saw Joey.

"Joey… you've been…. Been…. TEAFIED!" she fell to her knees and started to cry.

"…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Joey continued. Zoe looked at the screaming Joey. Then down at Selena and felt ashamed. How could she have given Joey such an awful hair style? It was obviously the result of some sort of freak accident. She sighed, and changed the hair gel tub. Then she fired at Joey and his hair resumed to normal.

"… YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Selena cheered. Then the turned to Zoe with anger. "Prepare to pay for that crime, Sumo."

"Huh?! STAY BACK! I STILL HAVE THIS AND I AM **_NOT _**AFRAID TO USE IT ON ANYONE!" she raised the tub of Tea's hair gel to prove it.

"Fine. You are forgiven, only because I do not feel Cheese Monkeyish and therefore am not at full power. Curse you, Potter… errrr…. Moto."

"NOW SING THE SONG OF KAIBA, THE BIRTHDAY BOY!" Kaiba demanded again. Zoe looked at him, a twinkle in her eye. She aimed, and fired at Kaiba's hair which embraced Tea's hair style. Kaiba started to cry.

"This is the best present I've ever received… I MUST SHOW THE WORLD!" He ran out side and stood on a box he found. "LOOK! I BARE THE BEST PRESENT EVER GIVEN!"

To his dismay, a crowd saw. They formed a mob and started chasing him out of the studio.

"Now we must decide this. WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS IT?!" Zoe scolded.

"I… I…. I DON'T KNOW! STOP MOCKING ME!" said Finney. Suddenly he punched Mokuba and made him fly across the room onto Myranda.

"Oooo…. A THREESOME!" Peggy exclaimed, jumping on as well. "Shouldn't we get somewhere a little more private though?"

"Oh, Peggggyyyyyyyy…." Myranda said.

"AHHHHH! HELP ME!" Mokuba said. No one seemed to hear him though.

"I suppose it's no one's birthday…" Chimpy finally dared to say.

"Are you sure? Cause mah calendar says 'SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY' in big blue letters."

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" went Yugi as he bounced back up again for the millionth time.

"YUGI P. MOTO, ARE YOU HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME?!" Zoe ran over to a large bag in the corner and produced from is a giant box of diapers. She put one on over her jeans and started bouncing along with Yugi. 

"Hey… FINNEY MUST JOIN!" Phoinex ran over to the diaper box and took out one for himself. Then he joined along. "WOOT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE DIAPERS!" Soon, Joey and Selena joined leaving Myranda, Mokubert, and Peggy in a dark corner, while Kaiba ran across Japan and somehow made it from Kyoto (in southern Japan), where the studios are, to Kushiro which is a city up in northern Japan. As he passed the seashore, Tea was floating in her asylum jacket in the tide, unable to move to shore.

"…? What the? Is that Kaiba? Why is he wearing my hair? Well it's not my hair… It hasn't really been since _the accident_…" Tea said to herself as she started to go into another of her regret things. As she did, she suddenly remembered something. "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

No one was around to hear her though since Kaiba was back in southern Japan running through Osaka, about 210 miles away from Tokyo, which was about 240 miles away from Kyoto which is a bit of worthless information installed in this story only to lengthen it to an amount of pages I am to be happy with.

Back in Kyoto, in the studio everyone was bouncing around merrily in their diapers, until Joey got a bit TOO comfortable and pooped, causing everyone to pass out for the next few hours, in which Kaiba made it to Kushiro 10 times and back, each time not noticing Tea, and each time unable to find his way to Kyoto. Some times later, Peggy who had not passed out stood and looked around.

"…. PARTY!" He ran to the center of his room in his thong and started dancing to "Jenny from the Block", his favorite song. 

Then, the producer, who looked suspiciously like Phoinex walked in. "Pegasus, tell everyone we got a lot of money form someone and now you're all going to Disneyland for a special thing….." He left a card on the table and then walked out.

"Sure, boss…" Peggy said while moon walking to "That's What Girls Do".


	9. Adventures in Disneyland and the Bossy P...

Chapter 9: Adventures in Disneyland and the Bossy Princess Mokuba!

Phoinex flew down in bat form onto the WB studios. The rest of the cast was waiting outside Yu-Gi-Oh studio for the plane that would take them to America to arrive.

"AHHHHH! A BIRD!" Yugi covered his hair with his arms, recalling his last encounter with the species. The bat flew down and kicked Yugi in the cheek for the fun of it then turned into Phoinex.

"LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD! No…IT'S A…. It's our plane!" Joey exclaimed, pointing at the butterfly heading at them. Yugi took a chance and looked up, only to have the butterfly fly into his eye. He flailed his arms and ran in circles screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"YUGI!" Phoinex scolded.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"YUGI!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"PLANE!" everyone looked up to where Phoinex was pointing. Surely enough, there was a large 737 heading at them, with Zoe in the cockpit driving it unprofessionally. As she landed, she knocked over the studio of _Jackie Chan Adventures_ but no one cared because that show wasn't popular anymore because it was old, because Yugi was new and not as old and his hair was so large it just took up all the attention.

"HEWWO EVWYBODY!" Zoe greeted, some how opening the window.

"ZOE! YOU CAN DRIVE A PLANE GOOD!" Yami blurted. He stared at all the scratches and dents on the plane in admiration as if they weren't there.

"Of course, Yami Yugi. I am Sumo Mama, master of many sumoish things! NOW GET ON BEFORE I HAVE FINNEY KICK YOU TO PLUTO!" The cast hopped on and within seconds they had traveled almost half way around the world to America. They went so fast because there is more fun to be had in America and because the part you have currently read up to here is pointless nonsense not all that funny.

~*~~*~~*~

"LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!" Mokuba yelled, pointing everywhere and anywhere with excitement. Kaiba merely smiled and patted his head.

"LOOK! COTTON CANDY!" Joey called out as he pounced the man at the cotton candy stand, and then started eating all the cotton candy he had to sell.

"… BIG BROTHER! LOOK! You will take me there now and buy me one of those!" Mokuba demanded, pulling his brother into the Princess Shop. He ran around and touched all the remakings of the dresses worn by Disney Princesses, each time oooing. Then he came upon the one belonging to Snow White.

"THIS ONE!"

"Uhhhh… ok." Kaiba said as he took a bag out of his pocket, removed the tag from the dress, out it in the bag and walked out of the store. "WEEEE! I BOUGHT SOMETHING!"

"GIMME!" Mokuba yelled as he jumped in the air and snatched at the bag which Kaiba had raised to show what he had 'bought'. Mokuba than quickly stripped down to his underwear and put on the dress, with an oddly wide smile Meanwhile, Peggy was drooling and Myranda frowning at him.

"Ok… well… uhhh… I get to pick who comes with me first! I pick… YUGI!" Zoe said.

"Alright, my turn." Kaiba said. "And I pick… MYRANDA!"

"WHAT?!" Mokuba gasped.

"Errr… Typo. I meant…. MOKUBA!" Mokuba cheered and Myranda hugged Peggy around the waist.

"FINNEY! SELENA! JOEY! Ok, wellIhavemygroup, soyoucanallgotogether, bye! COME GROUP!" Zoe said quickly running off with her group, not wanting to be forced to pick the freakier freaks of freakiness. 

In the direction Zoe had gone, she had led her group to Fantasy Land, a place for the littler kids. Bad choice, eh?

"LET'S GO THERE FIRST!" Yugi said, while pointing at the Dumbo ride where you got into one and flew around above the ground in circles and holding Zoe's hand.

"Nuuuu! Let's go to TOON TOWN!" Finney complained.

"Shut **UP**, Finney! WE'RE DOING WHAT YUGI SAYS!" Zoe said.

"_WHY?_"

"Because uhhh… he's short and we must feel sorry for him."

"Oh… it's all so clear now… I feel so ashamed… OOOO! HATS!" he said, as he saw a hat shop across from the Dumbo ride. "I'll be there while you do… Yugi stuff! SELENA! JOEY! COME WITH MEEEE!" he said as he ran into the hat shop. Selena, and Joey (who was in one of the extra-extra large rental baby carriages that Selena was pushing) followed, while Zoe raared at everyone in the line and got her and Yugi up to the very front. They got into one of the elephants, Yugi in the front seat, Zoe in the back. 

As the fake Dumbo rose, Yugi started to whimper. "WHAT'S WRONG?!" Zoe barked at him.

"I… I'm **_SCARED!_**" Yugi informed as tears slowly popped out of his eyes.

"You better not be if you ever wanna go into my Chocolate Room again! Which is **MINE** might I add." 

"WEEEEEE!!!"

"…"

"_OOOOOWWWWWW_!" Yugi hollered as he somehow managed to crash into a pigeon, which sat in front of him after the collision.

"Ahhh! Poop Meister! GET _AWAY_ FROM MY YUGI!" Zoe unbuckled her belt and jumped up on the small space that separated her and Yugi's seat. The pigeon looked up at her and made a noise, then in jerked it's head up to show it would bite her it she came any closer.

"You bite be, I'll sit on you back, BIRD!" The pigeon flapped it's wings fiercely at Zoe. The people down below gasped as if they were the audience, which in a way they were.

"NUH-UH, POOP MEISTER, YOU THREATEN MY YUGI, I HURT YOU BACK!" Zoe grabbed it by the neck, and squeezed it hard, raising it to her face to give it a death glare. "RAAAAARRR!" Then she through it down onto the ground. Just at that moment Phoinex, Selena, and Joey (still in the carriage) came out of the show.

Phoinex was wearing a Mickey the Magician's hat (I don't know what they're really called) with small black mouse ears. Selena wore one like Goofy's, in green, and Joey worse a copy of Woody from _Toy Story_'s.

"WOOT! Let's hear it for the Dumbo!" Phoinex cheered. The people waiting in line cheered, and Phoinex cackled. "My power reaches out here to Disneyland! I AM ALMIGHTY!" The Dumbo Zoe and Yugi were riding slowly came down, and landed right on top of the pigeon Zoe had thrown, squishing it. Zoe jumped off, then opened the door, undid Yugi's belt, and helped him out.

"I…never…no…Dumbo…bad…." Yugi muttered with wide eyes. Zoe led him over to the others.

"That was COOL!" Joey said, raising his arms for emphasis.

"QUICKLY! We** MUST **leave here at once… the birds have seen us as a threat… they're power is too great… It is not safe." Yugi declared.

"But…" Zoe said.

"No. Leave **NOW**."

"Ok. Where to now?"

"TOON TOWN!" Phoinex suggested.

"Well, Kaiba took his group down to Tomorrow Land, so…"

"TOON TOWN!" 

"So, where else can we go?" Zoe asked.

"TOON TOWN!"

"I don't know…" Selena replied.

"TOON TOWN!"

"Hmmm…" Zoe thought.

"TOON TOWN!"

"I KNOW! Worship the intelligence of Cheese Monkey, fools. Frontier Land is right through there!" 

"Woot! Let's go!" Phoinex agreed.

"TO THE BAT CAVE IT IS!" Zoe said, striking a pose.

"Bat Cave? This is not comics… THIS IS THE HOLY DISNEY!" Yugi corrected. Zoe shrugged, coming out of her pose, and then walked in the direction Selena pointed, closely followed by her group.

~*~~*~~*~

Meanwhile, back with Kaiba's group. They were in Tomorrow Land, doing freak things of freak that suited them because they themselves were freaks. I love the word 'freak' all of a sudden, so just deal with the freak sentences.

"Kaiba, I want to go **THERE**." Mokuba demanded.

"No." Kaiba replied, while bending down to hug Buzz Lightyear around the waist happily. Buzz didn't quite share his feelings and was trying to get free.

"I said I want to go _there_." Mokuba demanded again irritably.

"**NO**."

"I've always thought Buzz was pretty hot… his name's pretty sexy too…" Peggy said to Myranda, who nodded in agreement. "KAIBA, **MOVE** OVER. It's **MY** turn now."

"No."

"Grrrr…. Move **NOW** before I get my Peggy on." he threatened. Myranda looked in her purse and pulled out a radio. She put in a CD and handed it to Peggy.

"**NO**."

"You leave me no choice." Peggy set the radio down by his feet, and fished in his pocket for a white sweat band he put around his forehead, below his hairline. Then he pushed play and the music from "I'm Still Jenny From the Block" played, without the lyrics. Peggy started dancing. Tristen sang the first few lines in an odd voice, while moving his neck like a pigeon when it walks to the beat.

"_Children grow, and woman produce, while men make them produce, but everyone's got get a livin'_." (Don't bother about the odd lines, this is **PEGGY VERSION**."

****

"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still, I'm still Peggy from the block!" as Peggy sang this, Myranda modeled a large diamond ring on her finger. "Use to have a lot, now I have more, no matter where I go I don't care where I came from!"

"_In mom's stomach!_" Bakura sang for the background in a girl's voice.

"I'm still, I'm still Peggy from the block!"

"Mmm… my Peggy getting his Peggy on…" Myranda muttered to Tristen loudly in an unmutter like way.

"AHHH! I SURRENDER!" Kaiba said, his eyes wide with horror as he ran over to Mokuba. Buzz was about to run for it, only to be locked again in Peggy's arms.

"KAIBA, I want to go **THERE**." Mokuba demanded again.

"Ok." Kaiba led his brother over to the EXTREMELY long line. An hour later, just as they were about to enter Mokuba spoke.

"This is stupid. A stupid ride. GIFT SHOP TIME!" Kaiba growled as Mokuba stepped out of line, and he was forced to follow abruptly. He didn't want to go on the ride himself…

"Come on, let's go group." he said to the rest. Peggy let go of Buzz who ran far, far away where he lived his life and eventually died, never to be bothered by the freaks again.

"That was cool." Tristen said as he walked over to Peggy and Myranda with Bakura, who kept shifting his eyes everywhere. Peggy outstretched his arm and let it dangle in front of Tristen while looking the other way with his eyes closed.

"Jus' call me MPeg." he said, starting to walk away after Kaiba, his hand still out dangling while hi other went on his hip.

"I shall rule Disneyland…" Mokuba muttered under his breath.

"Come, Bakara." Myranda said, tugging on the leash around Bakura's neck and taking him away.

~*~~*~~*~

"WOOT! Let's hear it for _MY_ hat!" Phoinex cheered as he walked into Frontier Land with Zoe's group. The people around paused walking to clap.

"Grrr… stupid Finney powers… YOU'LL ALL SEE WHEN I'M CHEESE MONKEY THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY POWER!" Selena yelled.

"Not _me_!" Phoinex corrected, "I recently put a tribute at the Cheese Monkey Temple!"

"Oh yeah, that's true… crap you, stupid tribute to me because I am the bestest Finney…" Zoe suddenly stopped in her tracks.

"Zoe?" Yugi tugged at her sleeve. 

"You…" Zoe said, darkly, before charging at Winnie the Pooh, who was standing near a bench under a roof hugging children and telling them lies of his existence. Err… I mean… Hugging them without care. NO! Not that either! I meant… uhhh… Just doing Pooh things for the goodness of Pooh. Ya, that's it!

"Ahhh! ZOE! STOP KILLING THE GOD POOH!" pleaded Yugi.

"Pooh's a GOD?!?" asked Joey as he tried to get out of his carriage so that he could bow to Pooh and not upset his godlike powers. Meanwhile, Zoe was doing a good job of beating up Pooh, while a crowd gathered and watched in horror.

Two security guards soon came, and puller her off, each with one of her arms.

"Ahhh! NO! Grrrr…. LEMME **_GO_**! POOH BEAR! You haven't heard the last of ME!" Zoe yelled. The security guards came up to Zoe's group.

"Does this belong to you?" he asked Phoinex, who nodded. They gave Zoe to Phoinex and Selena to hold on to, while they carried Pooh out to the medical place, where it is cleverly hidden from me and the rest of the public. Curse you, Disneyland…

Then, Zoe soon calmed down when Selena gave her some of her emergency stash of Cheese, they continued and stopped in front of Big Thunder Mountain, one of the few roller coaster rides.

"Ahhh! No! I DON'T **_WANT_** TO GO THERE!" Yugi argued.

"No! I _do_ want to!" Phoinex argued back.

"… ME TOO!" Zoe added.

"I don't." Yugi said stubbornly.

"Well too bad, we're going." Zoe ran up to the Fast Pass line. Phoinex moved her aside.

"Let me handle this." he waddled up to the man in front of the line. "Hi, stranger. Let us pass, because we want to pass fast. Fast Pass!"

"Uhhh… sure, dude." answered the man, stepping aside to let Phoinex and co. ran in because the line was long, but without many people. Five minutes later, they were about to board the ride. Joey got into the front seat with Selena, Phoinex and Zoe into another, while Yugi sat behind them with his ex-Yami. Fortunately for him, Yami Yugi just HAPPENED to be the first one in line when they arrived.

The cart started moving and Phoinex cheered, while Yugi shook madly like a Joey in his dog costume after a bath as they went up…

**__**

To be continued….


End file.
